I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
