When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
