do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize