Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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