The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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