'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
