If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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