I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she pinky promised me she was 18
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
