all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize