whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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