YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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