he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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