I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
