So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
