New invention idea: vibrating tampons
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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