ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
