like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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