he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize