So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
