I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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