Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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