Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Semen is not good for contacts.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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