he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
