Old men and throwing up are my life now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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