Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
