covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
