scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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