youre lurking in front of me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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