I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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