would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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