You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize