office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
