Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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