we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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