I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
