from now on my penis is your penis
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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