at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
