i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
