Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
