...so i touched it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
