Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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