p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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