I just pynch a tree in the face
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
