C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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