Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize