Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
