I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
