i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
