What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
