Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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