But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
