and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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