yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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