your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
