I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
