Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
