Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
