Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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