I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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