margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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